When was the last time you were listened to? Deeply honestly listened to?
When was the last time that you were listened to? Deeply, openly, honestly listened to? When was the last time that you actually listened to someone else?
If you have ever been truly listened to, you will know and remember - the person listening, the place and time of day and how it made you feel. Chances are many of us will have to think hard. You may realise it has been quite a while since you were really listened to or really listened to another, maybe even years.... And for some, perhaps never.
The consequences of 'not listening' is the deterioration of most relationships in all walks of life and forms part of the clientele who pass through our doors.
To genuinely listen is the most important ingredient in communication with ourselves and others. In the wonderful world of counselling and therapy training we were taught how to listen attentively, read body language and be active in our listening approach. However, before this essential learning process, I am sad to say, I was a poor listener. Had I ever even thought about this as a useful part of my life? I felt sad about this - especially with my then teenage kids and an ageing mother. It wasn't too late however.
This sad recognition led to action and putting my new 'listening ears' into practice in my personal daily life as well as my counselling profession. I realised that Listening is an art form which can be learnt and practiced. The difference to the quality of my relationships has been amazing! It is never too late to develop this seemingly forgotten 'art'.
In our world, social media and the internet in general, has impressively changed the way humans communicate with each other. This electronic connectedness has disrupted traditional perceptions of being together. But, has it opened new methods of connection or assassinated it altogether?
There is so much digital communication but rarely is there found a quality of listening to actually hear what another is saying. The sticking point used to be the reading of newspapers and television - a disconnect from communicating with others.
But people still want to be listened to, to be understood. We want people to know our point of view and to tell our stories. We want to influence and change how people are viewing things, and how we are all interacting with each other. If only someone would just listen.
A person who has been listened to feels valued, worthwhile and develops more confidence and esteem - even when the communication maybe critical or challenging.
Your quality of relationship with your loved ones, children, families, workplaces and friendships will all be enriched dramatically with the use of this one simple tool. In fact it would be a different world altogether if listening was the 'norm'.
Who are you listening to? Who is listening to you?
The next blog will simplify a few steps towards becoming a great listener...it is worth the effort. It is not difficult - it takes time & practice.
